Cold.... so cold. Bitter winds in my mind and shivers in my soul. Wishing for springtime's thaw.

I cant stop smiling. :D

solitude

yellow lines fly by below my halfway open window, cold air pulling into my heated cab.
one hand on the wheel and another gripping an old notebook,
scribbled directions blurred through the old prescription on my sunglasses.
there are sprawling farm houses on one side, grazing cattle on the other,
ambling slowly through the tall dead stalks dancing a frenzied jerk in the frozen wind.
i hit the gas to gain some distance between myself and the car behind me,
flying over the hills and hugging the shoulders on death-trap curves.
the trees lining the ribbon of country road i'm on throw horizontal shadows across my path,
the pavement striped in odd patterns interspersed with reddish sunlight.
i turn up the music still louder, the bass pumping through my doors and windows
with a rattle and a shudder. the screaming guitars drive all thought from my mind,
the scenery flowing past me entering my eyes one moment and blinked away the next.
deafening noise.... silent thoughts... the world is alive around me,
but i am not part of it.

silver and cold

today is a silver lined day, the cold pressing in on my skin like fabric.
the scarf around my neck pulls tight like a noose and i feel tired,
i turn my eyes to the darkening sky with a sigh and pull my sleeves down
over my dry hands. theres a small tree to my left covered in tinfoil and christmas ornaments, a small pile of dirty snow mingling at its foot.
the wind pulls my hair around my eyes and i shiver awfully,
turning back towards home with the intent of walking faster,
focused only on the dim light in the distance.

Hell yeah for wearing pants and asking out guys. I win! :D

Snowday

the world outside my window is blank, a bright static white. christmas lights twinkle behind my reflection on the frosted panes, and a hand placed on the glass is quickly chilled by the frigid air on the opposite side. somehow the knowledge that i cannot go anywhere makes me more content than ever to do nothing. todays diet was pasta and hot chocolate, interspersed with giant cups of coffee. company consists of family that provides entertainment and bonding. good conversation and copious amounts of smiles are provided by the best friend. today i kept the constant optimism that has just invaded my life by rejecting all acidic thoughts of the past. now the sky has darkened, the backyard visible only by its white blanket of powder reflecting the lights in the windows.

favorite poem ever.

But thou, false Infidel ! shalt writhe

Beneath avenging Monkir's scythe;

And from its torment 'scape alone

To wander round lost Eblis' throne;

And fire unquench'd, unquenchable,

Around, within, thy heart shall dwell;

Nor ear can hear nor tongue can tell

The tortures of that inward hell !

Bur first, on earth as Vampire sent,

Thy corse shall from its tomb be rent:

Then ghastly haunt thy native place,

And suck the blood of all thy race;

There from thy daughter, sister, wife,

At midnight drain the stream of life;

Yet loathe the banquet which perforce

Must feed thy livid living corse:

Thy victims ere they yet expire

Shall know the demon for their sire,

As cursing thee, thou cursing them,

Thy flowers are wither'd on the stem.

But one that for thy crime must fall,

The youngest, most beloved of all,

Shall bless thee with a father's name ---

That word shall wrap thy heart in flame !

Yet must thou end thy task, and mark

Her cheek's last tinge, her eye's last spark,

And the last glassy glance must view

Which freezes o'er its lifeless blue;

Then with unhallow'd hand shalt tear

The tresses of her yellow hair,

Of which in life a lock when shorn,

Affection's fondest pledge was worn,

But now is borne away by thee,

Memorial of thine agony !

Wet with thine own best blood shall drip

Thy gnashing tooth and haggard lip;

Then stalking to thy sullen grave,

Go --- and with gouls and Afrits rave;

Till these in horror shrink away

From spectre more accursed than they !

-excerpt from The Giaour by Lord Byron